The Candid Guide to Pretending to Be Indie

    Being indie isn’t just about listening to obscure bands and wearing clothes from the Salvation Army, nor does it require you to go dumpster diving for food. You see the reason this particular guide is titled with “pretending” and not “being” is that by the very definition of indie it is impossible to be truly indie, by following an established trend it is no longer independent or of your own creation. One can only strive to get as close as possible to that elusive “independent” asymptote. A paradox indeed, but not one that should ever stop you from trying, god knows you certainly aren’t the only one.

    Although many have dismissed indie as being yet another useless lifestyle created by this generation’s youngsters, adding to the list of such cliques as emo, gothic, and jock; there is a reason it is the dominating choice on college campuses today. What remains to be seen is if it can withstand the test of time like hippies have, who still to this day roam dark alleys, reminiscing about Woodstock and exchanging conspiracy theories.

    A social trend such as this one is almost always first and foremost defined by music. If you’ve never heard of at least half of the band’s that are mentioned in the Candid listening section then leave, and kill yourself on the way out. No, but seriously, one’s choice of lifestyle should never have to be defined by the music they listen to. Whether or not you may fit the pattern, indie kids like to think they are more tolerant than other groups and accept you either way but you should probably refrain from mentioning pop-punk bands like Simple Plan in front of them, lest you should prefer never to have children.

    After music comes generally comes clothing. There are those in indie culture who truly believe the only unique look nowadays can only be found through vintage clothing. By wearing clothes of yesteryear, even some that can go back decades you effectively stick out because no one else would dare wear that Nazi jacket from WWII. You should only take this route in extreme cases when you wish to be so hardcore it’ll hurt, and it literally will; there’s no room for phallic objects under those tight pants. Does your style define you? Maybe, maybe not but at least you’ll fit in at the concerts.

    There are a whole lot of other things that could increase your indie credibility; an environmentalist attitude is a must, vegetarianism adds bonus points, interest in other forms of culture such as quirky indie flicks, design and virtually anywhere you can spend money can also define just how indie you are. Walmart? -12. Urban Outfitters? +8. Because in the end it’s not your tastes that matter since those can vary and change, nor is it your habits or the people you know that define where you fit but rather where and on what you spend your money. Consumerism more often than not defines culture and lifestyle, and where there’s a market there’s an opportunity to make big.